You teach your kids they can do and be anything they want. They have no limitations, and yet the world tells them different. Even if indirectly, society dictates all of the important rules that only the subconscious catches.
It starts when they're little, being told what are girl things (such as dolls and tea parties) and boy things (like mud and trucks). What does it matter though? Why is it an issue? Why can't our girls be mechanics and boys fashion designers without emphasis on their orientation? Why does society get do decide who our kids will our won't be? This goes far beyond gender assigned roles. It's entering the subconscious of our children's minds and they are second guessing themselves. so much for innocence.
Just last week, we were costume shopping and my nine year old decided on a Marvel character that he likes. The store didn't have it in his size, so i ordered it online. None of us really thought anymore about it.
And then last Monday...
While driving to school, we are engaged in our normal routine of spelling words and memory verse review. My son stopped and didn't say anything for a minute or two. I looked over and he looked confused. Our conversation went as follows:
"Mom, did you already buy my costume? "
"Yes, Phoenix. Did you change your mind again? I can't undo the order. "
"No. But there is a problem with it. "
"Oh? Please enlighten me. "
"I'm not black, Mom. Falcon is black."
Why would my fourth grade son be so concerned about how his costume would be received? How does he know that is not proper for a white boy to pretend to be black? Or Asian, or Indian for that matter. Switch the scenario around to any race, religion, or creed portraying another.
This isn't a post to be rude or cruel. It's for every parent who had an observant child. These are the subliminal messages that are still being taught to our children, even without our knowledge. It may well be us, the parents doing it unintentionally.
Phoenix is no stranger to other races. In fact, his uncle is black. So this situation puzzles me even more. We also have friends who are from China. We teach love and compassion for others. I have often told him when he had questioned some friends being gay that your heart doesn't see color, rave or sex. The heart only knows love. Again, puzzling me even further.
He then told his dad the same thing. He still wants to be Falcon, but he isn't black like the kids on the picture. And how will his hair look because it isn't really short either. He doesn't have an answer when asked why he thinks him being white is an issue. He only knows he isn't black.
It starts when they're little, being told what are girl things (such as dolls and tea parties) and boy things (like mud and trucks). What does it matter though? Why is it an issue? Why can't our girls be mechanics and boys fashion designers without emphasis on their orientation? Why does society get do decide who our kids will our won't be? This goes far beyond gender assigned roles. It's entering the subconscious of our children's minds and they are second guessing themselves. so much for innocence.
Just last week, we were costume shopping and my nine year old decided on a Marvel character that he likes. The store didn't have it in his size, so i ordered it online. None of us really thought anymore about it.
And then last Monday...
While driving to school, we are engaged in our normal routine of spelling words and memory verse review. My son stopped and didn't say anything for a minute or two. I looked over and he looked confused. Our conversation went as follows:
"Mom, did you already buy my costume? "
"Yes, Phoenix. Did you change your mind again? I can't undo the order. "
"No. But there is a problem with it. "
"Oh? Please enlighten me. "
"I'm not black, Mom. Falcon is black."
Why would my fourth grade son be so concerned about how his costume would be received? How does he know that is not proper for a white boy to pretend to be black? Or Asian, or Indian for that matter. Switch the scenario around to any race, religion, or creed portraying another.
This isn't a post to be rude or cruel. It's for every parent who had an observant child. These are the subliminal messages that are still being taught to our children, even without our knowledge. It may well be us, the parents doing it unintentionally.
Phoenix is no stranger to other races. In fact, his uncle is black. So this situation puzzles me even more. We also have friends who are from China. We teach love and compassion for others. I have often told him when he had questioned some friends being gay that your heart doesn't see color, rave or sex. The heart only knows love. Again, puzzling me even further.
He then told his dad the same thing. He still wants to be Falcon, but he isn't black like the kids on the picture. And how will his hair look because it isn't really short either. He doesn't have an answer when asked why he thinks him being white is an issue. He only knows he isn't black.
I am saddened that my son even thought this. Yet on the other hand incredibly proud that he brought me instead of hiding and worrying. Having very diverse friendships and family, I never thought in a million years that this would have been on his mind.
So, now I pose this question to you. Why do you think a nine year old would be worried about this? How would you handle this situation? And lastly, do you think that this is a global pondering or just here in the U.S.?
So, now I pose this question to you. Why do you think a nine year old would be worried about this? How would you handle this situation? And lastly, do you think that this is a global pondering or just here in the U.S.?