So, I'm sitting here pondering the big picture. That, my friend, is quiet time for mommy. I don't have it., haven't had it, and won't have it for several years. And by several I mean at least 15.
You see, I often thought that parenting was easy. I mean I babysat-- so of course parenting would be a cinch. Then I married my husband and gained a bonus son! Enthralled with life, I basked in the amazing world of being a "step mom." (Ugh, that is the worst phrase in the history of words! ) Anyway, life was perfect.
Balance. That's what I had. Balance, and it was bliss. Or maybe I was ignorant. Yeah. Ignorance is always bliss. I thought I had it all figured out. Wife, mom, and everything I aspired to be.
I. Had. This.
And then I didn't.
Suddenly, life got in the way. I got lazy, things were falling apart around me. Sure, I had things "put together" or so I thought. Being a mom and bonus mom was hard. I stayed home with the kids, how was this hard? I had it all figured out, remember?
I'm here to tell you that no one ever has it all figured out. Not one single mom ever figures it out completely. We're all learning, every day. We beat ourselves up for our short comings. This is inevitable. However, we should really take our jobs as parents less seriously. Yes. I said LESS seriously. Hold the phone, don't disconnect yet.
While I was pondering all these short comings as a mother, wife, sister, etc. Society was coming down on me even harder. I wasn't a picture perfect stay at home mom. I didn't bake all day like June Cleaver. I wasn't as organized as so and so. I didn't wear make up every day, and dress to impress every time I went out in public. So, I opened my eyes to a bigger picture.
The world loves to see us fail. People love to watch you bleed out and beg for mercy in your time of need. So, stop. Stop beating yourself up for having messy hair when you are at the school drop off in the mornings. hating yourself because you forgot to brush your teeth before you left the house. After all you had 3 kids to feed, get dressed, and get out of the house. All the while, trying to get yourself ready to go to the office.
Instead of being so hard on yourself, why don't you try reminding yourself of what an incredible person you are? You gave your children life. You and your husband decided together how best to raise your children to be productive human beings capable of leadership when they reach adulthood. You deserve a HUGE congratulations for surviving with little to no sleep, fevered and sick babies, bad dreams, thunderstorms. All of which, usually end up with a kiddo in bed with you.
You co-sleep? Then, again, pat yourself on the back, because you had a family bed and made it work. And I am willing to bet, you didn't scar your kids for life either. Did you nurse your baby until 2? Bravo, Momma! That's hard work, and requires a crap ton of dedication.
My point is this: Whether you are a totally natural parent, or not, it doesn't matter! You may have chosen to formula feed all your children, and used a sleep method that some may not like, but you did it. You survived, and I'm sure your children did as well. So be proud of that. Remember when you think you've lost control and don't have anything figured out anymore, you still have children who adore and NEED you to be there. So many want you to fail, but I want you to succeed! As a parent, I want parents to know that their best truly is all that matters. Only you know what your best is. To understand this, go look into the eyes of your children.
You see, I often thought that parenting was easy. I mean I babysat-- so of course parenting would be a cinch. Then I married my husband and gained a bonus son! Enthralled with life, I basked in the amazing world of being a "step mom." (Ugh, that is the worst phrase in the history of words! ) Anyway, life was perfect.
Balance. That's what I had. Balance, and it was bliss. Or maybe I was ignorant. Yeah. Ignorance is always bliss. I thought I had it all figured out. Wife, mom, and everything I aspired to be.
I. Had. This.
And then I didn't.
Suddenly, life got in the way. I got lazy, things were falling apart around me. Sure, I had things "put together" or so I thought. Being a mom and bonus mom was hard. I stayed home with the kids, how was this hard? I had it all figured out, remember?
I'm here to tell you that no one ever has it all figured out. Not one single mom ever figures it out completely. We're all learning, every day. We beat ourselves up for our short comings. This is inevitable. However, we should really take our jobs as parents less seriously. Yes. I said LESS seriously. Hold the phone, don't disconnect yet.
While I was pondering all these short comings as a mother, wife, sister, etc. Society was coming down on me even harder. I wasn't a picture perfect stay at home mom. I didn't bake all day like June Cleaver. I wasn't as organized as so and so. I didn't wear make up every day, and dress to impress every time I went out in public. So, I opened my eyes to a bigger picture.
The world loves to see us fail. People love to watch you bleed out and beg for mercy in your time of need. So, stop. Stop beating yourself up for having messy hair when you are at the school drop off in the mornings. hating yourself because you forgot to brush your teeth before you left the house. After all you had 3 kids to feed, get dressed, and get out of the house. All the while, trying to get yourself ready to go to the office.
Instead of being so hard on yourself, why don't you try reminding yourself of what an incredible person you are? You gave your children life. You and your husband decided together how best to raise your children to be productive human beings capable of leadership when they reach adulthood. You deserve a HUGE congratulations for surviving with little to no sleep, fevered and sick babies, bad dreams, thunderstorms. All of which, usually end up with a kiddo in bed with you.
You co-sleep? Then, again, pat yourself on the back, because you had a family bed and made it work. And I am willing to bet, you didn't scar your kids for life either. Did you nurse your baby until 2? Bravo, Momma! That's hard work, and requires a crap ton of dedication.
My point is this: Whether you are a totally natural parent, or not, it doesn't matter! You may have chosen to formula feed all your children, and used a sleep method that some may not like, but you did it. You survived, and I'm sure your children did as well. So be proud of that. Remember when you think you've lost control and don't have anything figured out anymore, you still have children who adore and NEED you to be there. So many want you to fail, but I want you to succeed! As a parent, I want parents to know that their best truly is all that matters. Only you know what your best is. To understand this, go look into the eyes of your children.